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DREW, piano, fried chicken
Drew was a model of consistency who excelled with minimum fanfare. Over 22 seasons, the quiet, durable Tiger outfielder accumulated 3,007 hits, 399 home runs, a .297 batting average, 10 Gold Gloves and 15 All-Star team selections. "Mr. Tiger" won the batting title in 1955, hitting .340 at the age of 20. His reputation as a clutch performer was enhanced by his .379 average against St. Louis in the 1968 World Series.
Fears: Hideki Matsui

DAVE AARONSON, traps
Little is known about Aaronson's early life, but by the mid-1960's he emerged on the jazz scene as a member of Bang Bang Boom, an all-percussion group consisting of Aaronson, Tony Williams, and Elvin Jones. They broke new rhythmic ground with Williams and Jones at the helms of the band's signature duel drumsets. Aaronson played the triangle. The critically acclaimed band was a commercial flop. In 1969, Aaronson renounced drumming and quit the band, publicly calling Williams "a show-off" and Jones "stupid." Ringo Starr, a major BBB fan, was reportedly so upset over the band's breakup that he became sullen and inconsolable, leading to fractures in The Beatles and their breakup the following year. Sightings of Aaronson since then have been rare.

FABIO, bass guitar, perseverence through the tragic absurdity of modern life
Born in Minnesota, Fabio's parents specifically requested that he enter life in the same hospital room at Mount Sinai Hospital that Prince Rogers Nelson was born in back in 1958. Unfortunately, that hospital was demolished and replaced by a strip mall. Thus, Fabio had the pleasure of entering this world in a Men's Wearhouse, where a dead ringer for George Zimmer served as midwife. Sometime between then and now, he learned the bass and grew a beard.

ALEX, saxophones
When Alex was 4, and his parents asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up, he replied simply: "A vampire, Mommy." Not much has changed in the meantime, although if you ask me, I'd say his embouchure has improved slightly.

JONATHAN, swings and slides
When Jonathan was 11, fed up with his life of excitement, intrigue, and gypsies, he ran away from the circus and made his way to central Nebraska. After six delightfully mundane years surrounded by the most prosaic varieties of triticum and bovine specimens, he was inspired to develop a device to help herd cows, calling it the resonating variable-length spitbox (RVS). But after a cease and desist order from real media, he renamed it the trombone. And, in an ironic twist, after a short bout of coma-induced amnesia, he has an untempered yen to join cirque du soleil.