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We are the Supercosmic Transcendentaldam Orchestra. Available for bar mitzvahs, weddings, parties, and the occasional intergalactic space flight. We would like to remind you to listen to the cosmo song, and to always, always, always face the music.


The Supercosmic Transcendentaldam Orchestra was formed in the fall of 2002 when Drew Werner, Mike Fabio, "Easy" Ethan Post, Dan Halperin, and Alex Mekelburg decided they needed a way to pay off their gambling debts, and that a band might be an easy route to fun and profit. Over the next two years, their innovative arrangements of jazz tunes delighted tens of people, from unsuspecting attendees of MIT Media Lab social functions to misguided sorority girls who inadvertently got themselves a 25 minute version of Miles Davis's "Nardis."

Things began to change when "Easy" Ethan departed to concentrate on his rock band, and Dave Aaronson took over the trap set. The band learned the first of several signature tunes -- "Toxic" by Britney Spears -- which they premiered in front of six drunk frat guys and their unsuspecting dates. After this triumph, Dan left for medical school, and the quartet of Alex, Drew, Fabio, and Dave remained. After some time in the woodshed, STO reemerged as an unholy hybrid of a jazz quartet and a party band, playing background music at events as diverse as the Red Sox Hall of Fame Induction and the Boston Ballet yet still managing to give inebriated youngsters a reason to grind their genitals against each other on a semi-regular basis. The year came to a triumphant close when talented young trombonist and ladykiller Jonathan Krones was added to the fold. "The fold?" he asked. "I thought I was joining a band." After reassurances that it was just an expression, Jonathan finally tuned up.

Things took a turn for the worse when it became clear that Alex was interested in pursuing a career in ??? in Baltimore, Maryland. Confident that he would never be seen alive again, the band turned to an alien -- Swiss saxophonist Frederic Preitner. In addition to being a neverending fountain of malapropisms, Frederic was a fine, fine jazz saxophonist and clarinetist. Scheduling problems caused the band to scale back its performances, yet they still managed to play a triumphant Halloween show as well of some other gigs that I'm sure I'll remember eventually.

Things took an apparent turn for the worse, again, when Frederic decided to pursue a career in the lucrative field of Being Swiss in Switzerland, of all places. While this brought the average age of the band safely below 25 again, it did leave STO as one of a very few trombone quartets in the known universe. Like a bolt of lightning from the clear blue sky, however, Alex Mekelburg came back to Boston, saying that the recreational pastime of "Not Getting Mugged" in Baltimore was less than totally satisfying to him. As in the parable of the ungrateful, alcoholic, syphilitic prodigal son (yes, syphilis), he was welcomed back to the band.

And that brings us to the present day. STO are still practicing, recording, and playing, and are ready to bring their trademark blend of funk, jazz, rock, soul, mayonnaise, and salsa to your party, drinking establishment, alumni banquet, wake, or corporate retreat. Help us help you.